click. like. win

My super supportive friend thinks I should have a larger on line presence.  I need to work it - and keep swinging the bat to get my novel I KNOW WHERE I AM WHEN I'M FALLING  seen and appreciated because, let's just say it has not been a blockbuster.  He thinks my time to shine has come and I should step out of the shadows and into the light.

And although being in the light is where I want to be, I find it so hard to make a conscious effort to present myself over social media.  To get the right kind of traction you must walk a very thin line. You must do it somehow, without bullshit or pretension, or at least without bullshit or pretension you aren't willing to defend forever.  I'm not sure I know how.

 For someone like me, who was brought up to believe that showing off was the absolute worst thing I could do, there's a kind of shame in self promotion. I'm British by birth - old school at that, and it's baked into my DNA.  I never quite learned the American art of the hustle because frankly, although that works in New York, it goes over poorly in other places where I've lived, where understatement, modesty and yes, a bit of old fashioned dignity, are valued more.

My daughter Rozzie says that basically,  when you promote your work, you either have to commit to a mask or be really clear about not having one and being proud of who you are.

Of course all creative artists want people to see what they have to offer. We want readers, listeners, viewers. We want our work to sprout wings, above and beyond ourselves - to soar unattached to us into the hearts of other people, and in that way to be ennobled.

So then to turn around and have to promote - to have to keep saying "look at me" until everyone is sick to death of you, seems to bring it down, you down and everyone else down, subjecting the work to different rules.

Of course, we do what we can. We work hard and put out our best material,  we write to agents and submit to loads of independent presses and post stuff on line and write blog posts like this and update our websites. Then we wait for someone else to approve that it is worthy.

Sometimes people stop by and say good job.  At other times they tell you that yes, it is worthy. And at the best of times  they fall in love with what you do.  I will never forget when an agent told me that I had given her the book that she loved.  But the book she could sell? That would be something different.

After all, the work has to make someone money.  So the one who you are waiting for to approve that it's worthy is the one who sees the dollar signs.  People also like to see that someone else has given your work the stamp of approval before they give it a try, and you can bet they'll come flocking when they see you've already got a long line of fans. 

Ultimately, what I find difficult is making the switch between the self  I was trying to be when I wrote the book and the ego who has to bullshit and tempt unsuspecting readers into my little lair.

Do I want unsuspecting readers? Do I need all the clicks and likes to make me legit, to get my work read?  This is the internet age, after all. A good friend in the London theater world tells me that roles are often given to actors on the basis of the biggest twitter following.

I feel grateful and humbled when on its own steam, my little book finds its way into people's hearts. How unexpectedly beautiful it was when the high school girlfriend of my ex - (main character Angus in my novel) wrote to me and we made a connection; when I heard from a former student from all those years ago who had never forgotten me, and never knew I was going through the trouble I describe in the novel; when a woman wrote that she found companionship in my book while going through hell with her son; when a reader told me she read my book deep into the night, and found in speaking to her own experience.

A lot of the media hype we are subjected to  - the tweets and the click bait and the Facebook likes are nothing more than white noise.  So, quantity over quality? Sure.  But I definitely need to find some balance between utter obscurity and the industrial scale click bait attention seeking I find so unpalatable.  Would love to hear your thoughts on this, so please, post them below.