There are so many layers to Tolstoy's descriptions of love throughout War and Peace - and this is why his writing stands the test of time. I've written about earlier episodes already, about the young love between Sonya and Nikolai and about Natasha's early love for Andrei. But as the characters mature, so do their expectations and needs in love.
When Nikolai Rostov falls in love with Princess Maria, he recognizes that he should not have been in such a hurry to solidify his young love with Sonya. It's only down to Tolstoy's understanding of character that we never are tempted to pity Sonya. By the end of the novel, Sonya has become too virtuous to be relatable. She is good, but she's also untouched by passion. Natasha describes her as "a barren flower."
Sonya's simplicity as a girl, when Rostov himself was also young, naturally made them fall in love. But when he is older and more complex there is less to explore between them. By the time Rostov meets Princess Maria, she has had many deep struggles. Throughout the book she has struggled to be good, but without reward, looking after her difficult father Nikolai. She has done all this without the benefit of charm on her side because she isn't beautiful. By the time Rostov encounters her, she has faced the loss of her father and his transformation in death, but her efforts to help the peasantry on their estate have backfired.
But Nikolai Rostov falls in love with her, and when he does, Tolstoy gives us this remarkable insight. He "had long ago pictured to himself the future with Sonya and it was all simple and clear just because it had been thought out and he knew all about Sonya; but it was impossible to picture a future with Princess Maria, because he did not understand her but only loved her."
Tolstoy knows it is difficult to imagine what we do not understand. But with his skillful use of point of view here, as in the passage with Pierre at the Battle of Borodino, he enables us to both imagine and understand.
Much is always made of the tragic life and death of the most noble and upstanding character, Prince Andrei - and I've resisted reading other critics and commentaries, because I'm just putting down ideas here before I forget them - mostly so that I'll have something to refer to when we have our book discussion this month.
Andrei has had premonitions of the end all along. There's the episode moving his battalion through familiar terrain, where he finds himself close to his estate at Bald Hills and decides to make a detour. But his estate is abandoned, overgrown and in disrepair. He encounters a few familiar peasants, one sitting on a family bench weaving a sandal, but his home has been destroyed. It has become a place of the past.
When he later encounters Pierre out of place at the battle scene, he cannot disguise his irritation with Pierre's cluelessness. Their perspectives are so different. When they part, Pierre feels (correctly) this has been their final meeting. But Andrei has tasted the knowledge of good and evil and already seen too much. He has the seeds of tragedy planted within him. He's had them all along - right from the first, with his first marriage and death of his first wife.
Now, when he meets Denisov, he has painful recollections of Natasha. "This recollection at once sweet and bitter carried him back to those painful sensations over which he had not lingered lately but which still found place in his soul..." And here, Tolstoy gives us a contrast to Rostov's love for Maria, which is without understanding. Andrei's love for Natasha includes understanding.
When Prince Andrei compares his love of Natasha to Anatole's love for her, he thinks "Not only did I understand her but it was just that inner spiritual force. That sincerity that ingenuousness - the very soul of her which seemed to be pinioned by her body - it was that soul I loved in her - loved so intensely, so happily -" while Antatole cared nothing for this - he only saw a pretty girl he wanted to seduce.
But then, later when Andrei is wounded, Tolstoy shows us what it feels like to encounter death. It feels like an abrupt confrontation with the profound, in the center of triviality. He does the same in his novella The Death of Ivan Illych. Only a few moments before he is struck down, Prince Andrei had been idly noticing the dust on his boots and walking the fence line. Now, mortally wounded and in the clinic, there is a man dying on the cot next to his. It turns out to be Anatole - the one who seduced Natasha and destroyed their love.
In his heart, Andrei can now forgive Anatole. He can even love him. In his extremity Andrei sympathizes with Anatole as his brother and is filled with love for those who hate. All that matters to him now is the love "God preached on earth".
It is also sadly poignant that he and Natasha can only really have each other when Prince Andrei is dying. Maybe some loves are like this. It is only when he is dying - and before he finally goes beyond feeling altogether, that Natasha and he can love each other.
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